In an extremely raw Instagram post Nick Kyrgios says he dealt with self-harm and substance abuse only a couple of years ago as he shed light on his battle with mental health.
The former top 20 player revealed that he was struggling severely with his depression whilst playing at the 2019 Australian Open where he lost in the second round to Jeremy Chardy. He describes that period of time as one of the ‘darkest’ in his life. Alongside the post, he uploaded a photo of him which shows self-harm marks on his right arm and admitted that he was having suicidal thoughts. At the time he was 23-years-old.
“Most would assume I was doing OK mentally or enjoying my life … it was one of my darkest periods,” Kyrgios wrote on Instagram.
“If you look closely, on my right arm (in the photo) you can see my self harm.
“I was having suicidal thoughts and was literally struggling to get out of bed, let alone play in front of millions. I was lonely, depressed, negative, abusing alcohol, drugs, pushed away family & friends.”
Kyrgios says he struggled to speak openly about how he was feeling. The Australian grew up as one of the future stars of tennis following his success at a young age. In 2014 at the age of 19 he stunned Rafael Nadal to reach the quarter-finals of Wimbledon. Two years later he won three Tour titles within the same season and currently has a total of six trophies under his belt.
However, the Australian has been marred by controversy throughout his career for his behaviour. On one occasion he was slammed with a suspended suspension by the ATP for unsportsmanlike conduct. He has also been fined on numerous occasions for various code violations.
“I felt as if I couldn’t talk or trust anyone,” Kyrgios reflects on his mental health battle.
“This was a result of not opening up and refusing to lean on my loved ones and simply just push myself little by little to be positive.
“I know that day to day life can seem extremely exhausting, impossible at times.
“I understand that you feel if you open up it may make you feel weak, or scared. I’m telling you right now, it’s OK, you are not alone.
“I’ve been through those times when it seemed as if those positive energetic vibes were never ever going to be reality.”
Fortunately, the tennis star has managed to overcome his personal demons and is doing much better at present. Kyrgios, who is currently ranked 132nd in the world, returned to action this year at the Melbourne Park where he lost in the second round to Daniil Medvedev in four sets. In the doubles he won the men’s title along with Thanasi Kokkinakis.
“‘I’m proud to say I’ve completely turned myself around and have a completely different outlook on everything, I don’t take one moment for granted,” he wrote.
“I want you to be able to reach your full potential and smile. This life is beautiful.”
Kyrgios is one of only two Australian men to have won all of their first meetings against each member of the Big Three. The other is Lleyton Hewitt.
