Nick Kyrgios says being in the spotlight as a younger player ‘drove him into a dark place’ as he addresses his future in the sport.
The former top-20 player spoke out about the mental toll the sport has taken on him ahead of the Citi Open in Washington. Kyrgios started to become a worldwide name at the age of 19 when he reached the quarter-finals at Wimbledon back in 2014. Although throughout his career he has been known as a controversial figure due to various outbursts on the court. At one point he was issued with a 16-week suspended ban for what the ATP described as ‘aggravated behaviour.’
“Deep down I know that I’m great for the sport,” he said. “Like, you need personalities like that. … I feel like I’m just resilient. If someone is not as resilient as me mentally, the amount of hate I got, the amount of racism I got, the amount of bullshit that I got from the tour, from fans, from everything.”
Kyrgios has hailed tennis for welcoming more unique personalities to the Tour but for him it was tough to deal with the scrutiny he was subjected to. Drawing parallels between himself and Naomi Osaka who recently took a break from tennis due to her mental health. During the French Open Osaka revealed that she has been suffering from depression and social anxiety since 2018.
“I did fall into places where people like Naomi Osaka are now speaking about mental illness where I was going through, in my personal opinion, 20 times as bad,” he said. “All they receive is good press. They don’t really receive hateful messages. They don’t really receive ridiculously historic fines for hitting balls out of the stadium or getting a code violation. I was dealing with, like, not even close to the amount of stuff that was going on.
“That’s what I think. Instead of out-casting and almost crucifying a personality, you say, Okay, this guy is different, let’s act a certain way, let’s not treat him like a Roger Federer or like a Marin Cilic. He’s his own person. I’m just saying this sport could have driven me into a place of dark, which it did for a bit, how mentally tough it was for 18, being one of the most well-known players in Australia, getting absolutely hammered with media. It’s not so easy.
“Now I’m 26, I’m old enough. I know it’s all bullshit. I feel like tennis really struggled embracing personalities earlier on in my career.”
It is unclear what the future has in store for Kyrgios. This week is only his seventh tournament since the start of 2020 after opting to not travel abroad last year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. So far this season he has won seven out of 11 matches played and reached the third round at Wimbledon before having to withdraw due to injury.
The Australian could walk away from the sport over the coming months with him admitting that he is playing every tournament as if it is his last. His current resume includes six ATP titles and 21 wins over top-10 players.
“Like every time I’m at a tournament, I feel like it could be my last time I’m ever going to be here,” he explained. “In Atlanta I felt the same way. Washington. I don’t know. I don’t know where I’m at. I feel weird. I feel strange about my career at the moment.”
Kyrgios is the defending champion at the Citi Open, which was cancelled last year due to the pandemic. He is unseeded in the draw and will start his campaign against Mackenzie McDonald.
